it's nearly ten yrs!

looking back into the past....

browsing through those old photos.....

surfing frds' profiles on frdstr.....

their recent pictures......

i've got one very close frd.......we were in sec 3...let's name her C..she lives near our sec sch and very often we hanged out together after sch near or at her hse.....till she moved to sk.....we got even closer.....

she's a very quiet but outgoing girl.....seems pretty contradicting huh? we shared our darkest secrets together........was really bestest frds

we assumed that we're the only best frds together......when i'm too close to another girl in class.......she would be unhappy......and when she's too close to another girl in class......i would get angry.....

that's how our relationship was.....eh....not lesbianic terms k....she's got a bf that time and i was holding a torch for a senior in sch....hAHha

nearly ten yrs ago so i vaguely remember the details.....

i got close to some other girls in class and she being the quiet type got upset and felt lonely....2 very gd frds in class....F and M who were alwiz in their own world and own frequency started to interact and eventually got close to her......when i wanted to get back together with C.....she totally ignored me.......after some time she did tried to salvage our relationship but i find that she's closer to those 2 girls.......who were there during most of her downtimes.........

ummmm....or isit i got back with J and P that period? thus neglecting C?

J and P were my closest frds too......somehow i got drifted apart from them partly because of me failing my yr......retained.....

till now......J and P are still best frds.......they were both in my frds list in frdstr......ironic huh......lol......totally not in contact at all but were found on my frdstr.......

C is not in my frds list......cos somehow i cant locate her profile......i found F and she's on my list yrs back.....she took a course in TP when i was still there......and she's living in sk too......somehow......we chatted when i met her in sch and sometimes saw her on the bus......i used to dislike her for snatching away C......hAHahA....but cmon...those were the days......the teenage yrs......we were all like still 14 or 15....hAHha....her bestie M is still her bestie.......i just added her to my list......cos her profile name is not her real name......so did not manage to locate her earlier.....

saw some pictures of F and found C in it.......=)

whenever i think of her......it's alwiz those times when we were the closest.......unlike yrs back.....all i have for her is hatred....hAHha....teenage hatred la......hAHhahAHha......she ditched me and things like that.......she dun wan me as a frd forever..BLAHBLAHBLAHblahblah

i wonder how she's doing.......and seriously wanted to know how she felt about me now......but it all seemed pretty awkward huh.....

HAhahA......we're 25 this yr.......it's really almost TEN YEARS!!!!!

i cant seem to hold on to my good frds........i've got quite a couple of best frds in pri sch.....none in contact anymore.......frdstr in my list yes...hAHha

even those that i've mentioned above in sec sch........none in contact........throughout those rough times in sec sch in terms of frdshp.....my sis Jolene turned out to be the one standing......

hAHahA.....she's my only sec sch frd in contact now.....

poly?

WORSE......

only Peifang.....hAHahHAHa

cmon ppl....laugh at me.....i'm such a loser.......

i mean there are frds in my past schs chatting up with me yes....on msn....and they're all in my frdstr.......but then again.....who cares abt ur frdstr......lol.......i've got 400 over frds in my list and ALL are people whom i've met b4......pri mates......sec mates.....poly mates.....internship mates.......ex colleagues...acquaintance....blahblahblah.......unbelieveable huh.....

hAHahHA

recalling my 21st birthday celebration......so many frds turned up......i was damn touched but i've only got 2 frds whom i call them 'friends'

if u get wad i mean huh......

ummmm.....

enuf said.....

it's been quite a long entry today.....heh.......

i love all my er yi (mum's 2nd younger sis)

i love my ah yi (mum's 3rd younger sis)

i love my xiao yi (mum's youngest sis)

*apparently my mum's the eldest sis

all 3 younger sisters of my mum's dote on me so much......i was looking through old photos and thinking back abt the past......when my gor and i was still very young.....they alwiz buy things for us.....bring us go gaigai(jalan jalan/ shopping) and took great care of us......attend our birthdays since very young.....now that we both are grown ups.......things seemed different.......

er yi is a workaholic.......my mum says she did not even call back when my mum gave her a missed call on her hp.....busy busy.....i miss her.....

ah yi lives in boon lay with her 3 boys.......my yi zang (uncle) passed away on the year i turned 21..which is 2004.....in december....

life has been hard on my ah yi.......she's strong i know......and everytime i visit her she'll be as cheerful as alwiz........but i know deep down she's holding on to her pain......especially when her eldest son can't seem to be good......he's her greatest worry now....if only she still lives in pasir ris which is like one 20 min bus trip away from sk.....well...she lives there when her kids are young......seriously dun like the idea when they decided to move to the extreme west.....boon lay -_-

my xiao yi lives with yi zang in JB......together with my wai po (maternal granny) and her 2 kids........she's a workaholic as well........ummmm......not very close to her since my teenage yrs......she's a malaysian ma......hardly have time to visit her......only CNY.....

shall stop here.......buttock pain sia....HAHa......nearly an hour!
lol.......